Lesson from my 20s

"When we're young, we miss a great deal of the essential big picture in the blinding light of our dreams. When we're older, the big picture sometimes overshadows the light of those dreams"

I read the writing above from a web board somewhere and found it is the shortest way ever that you could possibly describe what life is. It makes me start thinking about how I see the world and react to what life offers me differently in my early 20s VS. now. What my priority at that time was chasing my dream, which it's all about career. I once believe that life is all about finding a way to do what you love and the rest will be just fine. I can't deny that it's not right, just see it differently. It's not 100% right anymore when you are older. "Life"... is not all about one thing. It's a mixture of various things in your life. "Success"... is not about being great in just one area of life.. The most successful person to me now is the one who find nice balance in life. There's no way in my 20s that I will define a stay-at-home mom or an easy-going-hippy as a successful person. But now, my view is changed. As long as you keep balance in every aspects your life well, then you deserve to be a sucess person.

I also once believed that you have all the power in the world to gear your life to the direction that you want, the most importantly, all mistakes in life are mendable. That's why there's a few times in life that I decided to do something that I have not think about it throughly before I did them. I've just found in my 30s that I have bonded with too few people. I lost many important friendships along the way in my life, which costs me deeply sad about it. Looking back to all my mistakes, this could be one of the area that I couldn't do much to fix it. Now I value relationships with people around me more than ever. I don't set my needs as the center of my little world anymore. In my 20s, I wouldn't do this because of the reason that I afraid doing so will make me feel like I lost my true self somehow. That kind of perception is another things that have been changed completely. Do I still spend a lot of time on my own? Yes.. But I learn to share those precious time with my love one too. "Happiness"... is not all about mine like the old days. Seeing my mom's smile, is a new true pleasure that I have never thought off before.

Anyway, it doesn't mean that I think what I did in my 20s is all wrong. It actually is a good ground of who I am today. Though there're so many times that I wonder how would my life today would be if I made different decisions in my past. As we all know, no one can not go back to correct your past. So it's not smart to stick yourself with guilts or live under shadow of those sorrows. What I can do now is aiming for the best possible things that I can do in my 30s. I wish to see myself having smile on my face in my 40s because all the good things I'm doing today.